Return to Moria EP5 – The Second Descent: we retrieve our bodies from Orc Town, accidentally become competent, and then immediately lose control again

Return to Moria EP5 originally streamed on 17th March 2026 – we returned to Orc Town to retrieve our bodies, discovered that strategy might actually work, killed our first proper boss, and then immediately decided to fight a cave troll for reasons that remain unclear.

We began exactly where Episode 4 left us.

Not emotionally.

Physically.

Two dwarves.
No gear.
A boss room full of orcs.

And a plan that could generously be described as minimalist.

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The Plan (such as it was)

“You’re going to run straight in.”
“Yeah.”
“Press E to grab all.”
“Yeah.”
“And then you’re going to run straight back out.”

There is something deeply humbling about your entire strategy being:

run in – grab everything – run away screaming

And somehow…

…it worked.

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The first small miracle

“But that was okay.”
“Yes.”
“I thought that was going to be awful.”

This is where the energy shifts.

Because up until now, Orc Town had been:

• stressful
• chaotic
• slightly cursed

And suddenly…

we were back in control.

(briefly)

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Difficulty discourse (aka: the argument we always have)

“I did lower the difficulty.”
“Oh yeah, you did.”
“I was not going to be managing my emotions very well.”
“Shall we move it back up once we’re back to where we’re meant to be?”

Every co-op game has this conversation.

Ours just happened while standing outside Orc Town in various states of recovery and stubbornness.

And crucially, for the record:

I was absolutely not campaigning for story mode.

Quite the opposite.

I was ready to push on properly, while Tel, being the sensible one for once, had quietly lowered the difficulty because the previous session had been… a lot.

“We can’t play this on story mode.”
“It would help my sanity.”
“No, no, no, no.”

So the real energy here wasn’t me asking for mercy.

It was me clinging to dwarven honour while Tel tried to make the afternoon survivable.

Which both feel… needed.

We ended up laughing a lot in a good way.

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Preparation phase (unexpected competence)

This is the part where, against all odds, we:

• upgraded arrows
• discussed armour properly
• thought about damage types
• acknowledged mechanics like responsible players

“He didn’t seem to get hit by tier 2 stuff.”

Who are we.
What is this timeline.

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The boss fight (feat. mild chaos and eventual glory)

“I’m only hitting him for six.”
“I’m doing a hell of a lot of damage on him.”

This fight had everything:

• confusion about damage
• weapon switching regret
• kiting as a lifestyle choice
• one of us dying (naturally)
• the other one doing something vaguely heroic

“I’m going to die. Yep. Dead.”

And then…

“You’re doing very well. Keep going.”
“You’re going to do it.”
“Yes.”
“He’s dead.”

We actually did it.

First proper boss. Down.

No cheese.

(we will not be taking questions at this time)

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Post-boss: immediate chaos resurgence

Because naturally, after achieving something meaningful:

“Can we try and kill the cave troll?”

Of course we can.
Of course we shouldn’t.
Of course we did anyway.

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The cave troll incident

“There is no health bar.”
“Oh.”

That’s when you know.

---

What followed:

• arrows (effective)
• swords (not effective)
• running (very effective)
• panic (extremely effective)

“I’m out of arrows.”
“This is why you pack extras.”

A lesson.
Hard learned.
Immediately forgotten.

---

Mood check: slightly feral

“I’m feeling quite bloodthirsty today.”
“Yeah.”

This entire stretch has a very specific energy:

• Rise Against in the background
• dwarves making increasingly questionable decisions
• me fully leaning into combat chaos

“This is really sorting out the issues that I had earlier today.”

Honestly?

Valid.

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The descent begins (properly this time)

After all of that:

we finally progressed.

• map stone secured
• resources gathered
• direction established

“We’re going down.”
“It’s a long, long way down.”

And the tone shifts again.

Less panic.
More wonder.
More of that quiet, eerie beauty the game does so well.

---

Ladders, ledges, and trust issues

“You just don’t trust me.”
“Understandable.”

Correct.

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Engineering by vibes

This entire section is:

• building platforms
• testing jumps
• hoping for the best

“I’m going to jump.”
“Okay.”

There is a level of trust here that is both admirable and deeply concerning.

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Arrival: the deeps

“Harrah.”
“Harrah.”

We made it.

• new materials
• new enemies
• new vertical nonsense

And crucially:

“We can now officially get here and home again.”

Which changes everything.

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The quiet win

This wasn’t just:

• retrieving our bodies
• killing a boss

It was:

• understanding systems
• establishing flow
• actually progressing the game

“Not as traumatic as I imagined.”

Which might be the most honest summary of the entire session.

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Final thoughts

Episode 5 is where something clicked.

Not perfectly.
Not consistently.
But enough.

We:

• made a plan
• argued about the correct level of suffering
• executed it
• adapted when it went wrong
• and still found time to cause chaos

The balance is starting to land.

Slightly.

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Next time

We go deeper.

• new materials
• new tools
• new problems
• and almost certainly new deaths

But now?

We’ve got our gear back.

And, occasionally…

a strategy.