ContractVille Gameplay Part 1 – First Impressions & Co-op Chaos

ContractVille Originally streamed on 27th January 2026 – archive recap added for posterity and evidence.

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We Accepted the Invitation. Immediately Regretted Nothing.

I accepted the invitation to play.

“Oh no. It’s asking me Windows security.”

Strong start.

Within the first three minutes we had:

• An elephant outside the starter house.
• A white picket fence caravan situation.
• Tel calmly explaining mechanics.
• Me already at 6% loading and narrating it like it was a crisis.

Then the big reveal:

“Oh, I’m actually going to be a person.”

Not just a floating hand. A full character. With hair options. Which meant I immediately got stuck in customisation while Tel waited patiently and tried not to judge my curly hair negotiations.

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The Caravan Era – Domestic Chaos

We began our new contracting empire in a slightly tragic caravan.

First lesson:
Press tab.

Second lesson:
Actually read the tutorial.

Tasks included:

• Collect garbage.
• Sweep floors.
• Clean windows with concerning precision.
• Learn that Q auto-stacks boxes (after I stacked them like a gremlin).

Tel demonstrated auto-snap stacking.

I said, “You learn something new every day, don’t you?”

She did not look impressed.

I found the cleaning oddly therapeutic.

She found my inability to follow instructions less therapeutic.

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The Driving Incident

Tel warned me gently.

“You want to be gentle on the controls.”

Reader, I was not gentle.

“You know this amazing thing called WASD?”

I was informed traffic laws exist in this universe. I was also informed that I cannot, in fact, simply vibe my way through steering.

I am now officially passenger princess.

Honestly? It’s safer for everyone.

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Douglas and the Chocolate Room

Our first real job was renovating Douglas’ guest room.

We:

• Plastered walls.
• Painted them chocolate brown.
• Debated the ethics of brown paint in small spaces.
• Learned not to mix plaster and paint buckets.

“You wouldn’t paint a room this colour would you?”

No. No, I would not.

But we finished it. Efficiently. Respectably. Mildly traumatised by brown.

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The Violet Teen Bedroom Makeover

Then came the purple.

Violet walls.
Luxury two-star ottoman.
A gaming wardrobe incident.
A rug that refused to sit straight.
A bed that may or may not have matched anything.

“That violet is… I don’t even know what to say about that.”

“It’s a bit revolting.”

We may have created Moody Teen Energy. Possibly Moody Teen Boy Energy. Possibly something entirely chaotic.

The game does not require design harmony.
The game does not reward taste.
The game rewards completion.

Which, frankly, is freeing.

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The First Real Upgrade – We Became Professionals

Early on we were operating with:
Trunk capacity: 6.

After a few missions and a recycling plant detour, we upgraded to:
Trunk capacity: 36.

Thirty-six.

It felt like generational wealth.

We fuelled up.
Considered buying buff snacks at the petrol station.
Got haircuts.
Bought a new truck.
I did not drive it.

Growth.

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Storm Damage and Screwdrivers

We replaced:

• Windows.
• Doors.
• Crown molding.
• A study desk.

I learned how to use the screwdriver tool.
We debated wood tones.
We accepted that the door colour was slightly wrong and moved on.

There is something deeply satisfying about:
Unscrewing something.
Replacing it.
Watching the checklist tick off.

Ding.
Level up.
Skill points allocated.

Tel optimises skill trees immediately.

I put points into things like demolish and speed because that felt right.

This will probably tell you everything you need to know about us.

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What This Stream Actually Was

On paper, it was:
A simulation game about renovating houses.

In practice, it was:

• Tel in systems commander mode.
• Me in vibes and demolition mode.
• Learning controls.
• Arguing about purple.
• Laughing at my driving.
• Quietly enjoying ripping up floors more than expected.

By the end, I said I wanted to demolish a house next.

I stand by that.

Passenger princess today.
Structural chaos tomorrow.

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If you missed the stream, you can watch the full replay above.

If you were there, thank you for witnessing:

• The violet incident.
• The WASD intervention.
• The moment trunk capacity changed our lives.

Part 2: We get bolder. Possibly more destructive.

More in this series:

• ContractVille Part 2
• ContractVille Part 3